ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

4 LIFEHACKS: How to get the best advice about anything

Updated on August 13, 2015
CC BY
CC BY | Source

Who, How, When, and Reverse it...

No one knows all of the answers in life, so odds are that we will all give and receive plenty of bad advice from time to time. Use these simple, common sense lifehacks to always get the best advice about anything.

CC BY
CC BY | Source

#1 Know who to ask

What are you asking for advice about? Does the person you're talking to have any valuable experience or expertise on the matter?

Teenage girls usually don't go to their dads with questions about becoming a woman, for good reason. So, why do a lot of us go to the wrong people? You don't want to ask someone who is also struggling with money about how to manage your money, for example. And you don't want to ask someone who has perpetual relationship problems for help with your own.

Look for role models. What is your ideal in this situation? Who do you know that has already achieved what you're after? It's wonderful that your friends and family are there to listen to your problems, and to love and support you, but just because they care so much, doesn't mean they have the answers for you. It's nice if they do offer you advice, but realize it may not be the best advice, and ask someone with proven success living what they preach.

Who is your "go to" when you need advice?

See results
CC BY
CC BY | Source

#2 Know how to ask

Now that you've figured out who to ask, it's important to know how to approach someone for advice. Most importantly, never approach people like, "Here's my problem. Fix it." Try to open the conversation by stating your problem as objectively as possible. Don't cloud the situation with emotional tangents, state the facts plain and simple.

They may jump in with advice right away, or start asking you questions to understand the situation or how you feel about it. That's great. If not, signal that you're looking for advice without "dumping it on them" by asking them about their experience. For example, "Have you ever had anything like that happen to you?" or "How did you handle it when you went through this?"

Get them talking and then focus on them. That's what you're here for! To model their success in a similar situation. So, ask questions and really listen to their story. You're not here to talk about you anymore, so just listen and don't try to steer the conversation back to yourself until they're done.

Lastly, always respect their boundaries. They may not be comfortable talking about it, or giving advice about it. Let it go and find someone else to ask. Don't try to force someone to give you advice, you'll only annoy them and probably get bad advice from it. Make them comfortable.

CC BY SA
CC BY SA | Source

Have you ever gotten bad advice, maybe from the wrong person or at the wrong time? Tell me about it in the comments!

I love getting to interact with you all. It's always an open conversation here!

#3 Know when to ask

Don't expect anyone to drop everything to talk to you. If they're busy or focused on other things, ask if they can meet you for coffee, or something similar. Be aware that the phrase "We need to talk" is anxiety provoking and puts them on the spot. You want to make them relaxed and able to give you thoughtful advice. Show them that you value them and their time.

If you can't get their attention, don't get frustrated and don't take it personally. Somewhere, someone else that you know, or have access to, has succeeded at whatever you need advice about. Go to them this time. And just leave it on the table with the other person that you'd really appreciate a few minutes to talk, and let them know how to reach you. If their schedule opens up, great! If not, no big deal.

public domain
public domain | Source

#4 Know how to give great advice

It's also important to be able to give great advice. First and foremost, if you don't have the experience or expertise, the only advice you should give is how they can find someone who is. Don't pontificate about things that you've never achieved yourself, or prop yourself up as an authority when you are not. Speak from your heart about the things that you genuinely know, but admit that you don't know everything.

Also extremely important, practice active listening techniques. Make eye contact, ask questions, repeat things back to check understanding, and never interrupt. A lot of the time, people will sort out their own problems by just being able to organize their thoughts out loud. You don't always have to give advice. Sometimes, they just need you to listen.

Never approach someone else with unsolicited advice. It can be very confrontational. It's one thing to intervene when you believe someone is putting themselves in risky or dangerous situations, but even then, any advice you give will not impact them unless they're ready to hear it. If you want to be able to help them when they're ready, don't push them away with advice they didn't ask for. It will probably be perceived as judgmental and telling them how to live their life.

And lastly, try to shift your verbiage away from "you" and focus on "I". For example, don't say "you should", say "I would" instead. It's the same idea as giving unsolicited advice, it can easily come across as judgmental or condescending.

You do have access to more resources

You may have a very specific problem that you don't know anyone personally that has been through the same problem. In this great, big world, you are never alone! The internet is full of resources for you. Be especially careful online about knowing who to ask, but don't be afraid to reach out. Also understand that being online, they may have a lot more people, just like you, seeking their advice.

Here are just a couple resources that you may find online:

If you are looking for advice about business and marketing, I've worked with these guys and they are extremely knowledgeable and helpful to anyone who contacts them. Pete Williams and Dom Goucher of Preneurcast can help you! Check out their podcast and blog at PreneurMarketing.com.

Skylar K is an activist, artist, writer and musician with whom I've recently become friends. He is very knowledgeable in transgender issues and has a big heart. There are many ways to connect with him. Check out his YouTube video above!

Thanks for reading!

I hope these simple lifehacks help you! If you like this article, PLEASE click here to share it with your friends!

Is there any advice that I might be able to give you? I love hearing your feedback, or suggestions for what I should cover next, so PLEASE leave me a comment below. I do read and respond! It's always an open discussion here :)

Please share your bad advice experiences in the comments too!

Be sure to follow me on Hubpages for new articles!

You can follow me on Facebook at:

facebook.com/yourcoachmatt
and
facebook.com/iqpawf

And on Twitter @matthewryczko

If you're interested in, or have questions about coaching, book your free consultation from the 'Book Now' tab at fb.com/yourcoachmatt

© 2014 Matthew Kandik

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)